Some days I'm better at it than others but the more I practice, the more I become aware, the quicker and easier it becomes. Shifting gears or pivoting my mindset is getting more and more natural. It’s a skill that can be learned. Just like negative mindset can be taught…Positive mindset can be learned.
My son was born with congenital heart disease. Which means, well, it means a lot of things…It means dealing with fear more than we’d like to and it also means finding the lighter side and laughter in or after the scary moments.
Last night we were at a BBQ with a group of our closest friends. There was a wild gaggle of children running around everywhere having a blast on a fabulous summer evening. My son was playing on the hammock with a smaller bunch; he's gotten to an age where I don't have to pay constant attention to him, which is amazing. I was talking with some friends when quite suddenly, as these things happen, he was standing next to me his mouth completely wide open in the form of an O trying to breathe…Cue panic. Suddenly, in those situations, the world around me starts to slow down significantly, everything goes into slow motion, I feel a little off balance, a little nauseous and my focus becomes laser-like and pinpointed directly on him. Tunnel vision.
In my rational mind, I knew he could breathe because he was telling me in between labored breaths, “I can't breathe!”
Thank goodness for my even headed husband who swooped in and said, “It’s ok, Buddy, you just got the wind knocked out of you.” So it actually was difficult for him to breathe, but it had nothing to do with his heart.
He was holding his hand over the area of his abdomen where his pacemaker lives. And he kept saying, “I can’t breathe, I'm going to die. I'm going to die.” He had been struck with the wooden structure of the hammock right in his lower abdomen. “I got hit right where I can't get hit, on my pacemaker.” Which happens to be very close to his diaphragm. My rational brain was telling me, “he's fine”, my husband, knowing all too well the look that I’m sure was on my face, was telling me “he's fine”.…but that residual fear that comes from almost losing a child…it slides in all too easily.
After things began to calm down, which was probably all of 2 minutes, we were all able to pivot, shift gears and not dwell on the negative implications of the ordeal.
What struck me the hardest after I had time to process was my sons VERY REAL fear of dying. Rightfully so, that kids been through it. It makes me sad that he has to battle with that fear at all. It made me realize that I am going to have to teach him how to pivot. The importance of it, what it's going to mean to him in the future and those lessons can’t wait, I need to be teaching him right now.
For his sake and for mine, I need to be teaching him by my example.
Choose and trust your intuition over the fear.
It also reminds me to take a close look at my own self- limiting beliefs and how I may be applying them and teaching them to my children as it does get passed down from generation to generation. I don't want my fears passed onto them. I don’t want my self-limiting beliefs passed on either. Another very real reason to get a grip on them, for my own sake and for theirs.
The fact is Owen’s fear is my fear translated.
He's fine. He's going to be fine. He’s in good health and he’s EXPECTED to be in good health for YEARS to come. It’s my fear that he is learning….
I guess it’s time for me to PIVOT once again…
Life is movement, life is change, pivot to the lighter side.
So I challenge you today to take a deeper look. What fears and limitations could you be passing on to your children? Keep in mind; none of us are born with any sort of fear or beliefs around limitations.