The last time I went shopping, actually, the last 10 times I went shopping for the fun stuff, you know, clothes, shoes, feel good things that light you up...I came home feeling guilty. I discreetly SNUCK the bags into the house, hung up everything in my closet and disposed of the bags and boxes like they were evidence from a crime scene. Why? One solid answer would be GUILT...over spending money on ME.
When I spend money on my family, my husband or my kids, it's a no-brainer, I just do it but when it comes to spending money on ME there is a large amount of guilt that always surrounds it.
Carefully peeling back the layers that have been building up around our hearts...that is the work we are doing....opening...allowing...seeing....feeling. I'm not going to tell you it's easy, I know it's not...I'm standing right next to you with my hands shaking but it's the work I know I must do and I know you feel it too. I know it's the path for me.
I don't want to go through my life NOT feeling. I don't want to go through life NOT expressing my joy or sadness or my heart or my truth...
Have you been holding yourself back because ultimately you're afraid to make a "mess" or to "mess up"?
Quite an interesting concept in my line of work...because things are going to, without a doubt, get a little messy before they can get better again.
Let's face it, life's messy...we are constantly cleaning up messes. Even in Feng Shui, you've got to pull everything out of the closet, make a mess, and put in all back together again before things balance out again.
Divine giving. Roots forever expanding, a deep knowing of purpose and place, blossoming untouched by doubt or judgement. Forever reaching, expressing, expanding, giving for the sheer and uninhibited joy of it...that is our true nature. -JH
Have you ever noticed that sometimes your house will try and get your attention? A light bulb will pop, an appliance will give out, or you'll drop a glass "smash" in the same area a few times in a row...wouldn't be helpful to know what area those things we're happening in so you had a clue as to what your house was trying to say?? Feng Shui has the map...
I don't know about you but when I start to spin or feel out of control or off balance the thing that helps me is to take action...even if I don't know what action is required I know that if I just start it will help calm me down and get me refocused.
My main go to action is cleaning...actually, a better description is CLEARING...
When I became a mom, I slowly began to lose my way...and though my circumstances were extreme, I realize now that most women in our culture are expected to "lose their way" when they become mom's...So many of us become lost in motherhood...and so focused on keeping our loved ones happy and healthy that we sacrifice and eventually lose touch with the very things that make us happy and healthy...and let me tell you, if mom isn't happy...nobodies happy.
When you are making progress towards your next stage of healing
you get little glimpses, little ah-ha's…you feel like you're always on the EDGE of knowing… and
then, POOF, the thought or idea just floats away...Wait come back!! I feel this happens when you aren’t quite ready. If the information you were searching for were to hit you right smack in the center of the forehead you wouldn’t know what to do with it…it would simply be wasted.
For about four weeks now I have been experiencing some health issues…heart palpitations, heart fluttering, mild mini panic attacks...stress. I thought I fully understood the main reason for the symptoms... primarily, pushing too hard to get the business up and running and hitting my overdrive button one too many times, plus...the dark demon...fear of failure... but every time I addressed the cause...the symptoms remained...For 4 weeks I would tell myself, "If things don't clear up after you get some rest this weekend then it's off to the doctor."...then I wouldn't get enough rest and, of course, the symptoms wouldn't clear up and I'd jump into another crazy week and....you get the picture. Well, this weekend I was finally blessed with 3 full days of rest, quiet and rejuvenation. I even made some time for some much needed reading.
Shut down 24...Yesterday I needed some serious down time..I find that I get extremely overwhelmed if I don't take the necessary steps EACH day to take care of myself...and I haven't been taking those steps lately...I'm sure you can all relate. So I engaged in a self-imposed shut down and re-boot...Honestly, I can't believe I don't do this everyday because the results are just so overwhelmingly positive...Note to self- DO EVERYDAY!